The Road to Missoula

The four of us and all we would carry for the next year or more were packed into the new automobile with a cargo carrier on top.  Our destination was Montana, Missoula to be exact, because the city is located between Yellowstone and Glacier National Parks.  The valley has long been a hub for the outdoors.  Lewis and Clark were supposedly the first US settlers to inhabit the area.  We had a bit more than two weeks to arrive and so time did not seem to be an issue, although we planned to spend most of our time in Yellowstone and Grand Teton. 

Five states in less than a day: MS, TN, AR, MO, and IA.  Except for Iowa we had lived or visited the others a number of times. I tell myself and the girls it doesn’t matter how many states we visit but how much time and experience we get out of them.  Still, I often tell myself, “I’ve been to 45 states now and my daughters have been to 15.”  It just sounds cool. 

            So much to explore in our country and we felt we had plenty of time.  One ‘scenic route’ led to another.

“Hey, we’ve never been to Iowa.  How about we drive along the Mississippi River?”  Beautiful, yes, and if time allowed we would take every scenic route.  The interstates look too similar.  Not the landscapes necessarily, but every exit has that same gas station, maybe a Subway, Wal-Mart, Home Depot or other well-known business.  Get off the beaten path, take the smaller highways and roads.  Only then can the uniqueness of the country be found, like the little hole in the wall diner with characters out of a David Lynch movie.

Iowa has cornfields for miles, mostly owned by large corporations such as DuPont and such.  The dark green of the cornstalks against the blue, cumulus cloud sky, create colors so vivid.  The Mississippi River seems cleaner up North.  Rather than the muddy color we are used to in Memphis, its waters have not yet been soiled.  Small islands dot the river, some even inhabited.  I assume they aren’t prone to flooding or else they have good insurance.  But the Old Man seems like an entirely different river than in the South, smoother and controlled.  Perhaps one day I will float it, a dream of mine, either by canoe or more likely a riverboat. 

As long as the roads would allow we drove close to the river in Iowa and Wisconsin until we crossed over into Minnesota…

The Journey Begins!

On the road finally!  What a whirlwind the last week before we left, surreal and rushed.  One minute we were living comfortable in our home in Olive Branch, Savage Manor, and the next we were rushing to move, to store and sell our possessions, and to plan our travels.  The four of us were literally homeless (and still are).  Our daughters, Sofiah and Kaia, jumped from my brother’s house to a friend’s house and then to grandma’s and back.  My wife and I stayed with friends and family as well.  They cooked for us, helped us move, and provided moral support in a way that made us feel loved and wanted.  We were almost sorry and scared to leave.

There were so many loose ends to tie up, especially after living in the Memphis area for most of our lives.  We had to close accounts, forward mail, pay bills, say goodbye to family and friends, and whittle our belongings to such a small amount that we could fit them all in one vehicle.  Driving two automobiles was not an option.  Even though we had two well running, newer autos we wanted one with a bit more cargo space, but mostly we wanted to spend more time together as family.  Taking two cars would be so much trouble!  Coordinating parking, each of us driving for hours without rest, more money for gas…

Honda reluctantly traded our two autos for one, not a deal in my mind, but the salesman was noticeably upset because he made little or no commission.   Our 2011 CRV and a 2013 Accord were traded for our new CRV with the crossbars on top.  We equipped it with a THULE storage box on top which fit more inside than we expected and so we were excited.  Closer by the minute we came to our goal, our dream of leaving the South behind and exploring the country, the world.

Finally, after piling a storage unit to the ceiling with the remainder of our belongings (even after selling so much!) we were ready for the adventure of a lifetime, the stuff dreams are made of.  The four of us, together as family, 24-7, exploring the country, left for Missoula, Montana.  We have a little more than two weeks to get there so we can take our time along the way, hopefully seeing as much as possible, but also relaxing and getting intimate with the best the country has to offer.  Follow us as we begin our adventures!

Savage Manor

For over 7 years we lived in a home in Olive Branch, MS.  It was the house where our daughters grew up.  Kaia, our youngest, knew no other place.  We were lucky to have purchased it when the economy was down and while we lived there we put a lot of work into it: a new roof, new carpet, paint, water heater, and so much more.  Outside we planted fruit trees, berry bushes, and most years we kept a large garden.  A lot of work, yes, but to me, it was a form of meditation and exercise.   

Our home, Savage Manor (since we lived in South Manor Cove) sits on almost 2 acres with over 100 trees.  I know the amount of trees because I once counted and labeled them.  The manor is tucked away in a quiet cove away from busy streets but nearby we had all the amenities we needed.  For the most part, the home was exactly what we wanted and we made the best of it.  No doubt we were sad to sell it.

But sell it we did.  I tried to list it myself for about two weeks and only real estate agents called.  Afterward, I reluctantly listed it with my friend, Jeff Smith, dreading the large fee attached to these types of transactions.  His business prowess proved reliable, however, and after seven showings and a month later, it sold, much easier than we expected.  The best part?  I listed it for more than market value.  Why? 

Well, call me sentimental, but I believe the home is unique and eccentric.  It has more character than most houses around the area.  The trees, the large yard, the gazebo, the built-in bookshelves, the railroad tie fence in the back yard, and so on. The other reason was part of me wanted to hold on to it just in case we desired to return one day.  At least then we would have a home waiting for us.   And even though a property manager and renters would probably be a pain in the ass, the equity would continue to build and be an investment.  Business wise, at least in my opinion, it would make sense to keep it.   

But as I mentioned, we sold it, and surprisingly for cash.  This means that we didn’t need an appraisal, a presupposed obstacle to our earning the price we wanted.  How lucky are we?!  But as always, we wonder if we are making the right decision. We will miss the Savage Manor.

STRESS

I feel I can handle stress and pressure well.  Though my wife tells me I should focus more on one thing, I tend to focus on several things all at once.  This takes time and energy but I enjoy it.  However, I assumed when school was out that I would have time to do more writing, reading, and prepping for our trip.  “Time to relax before the journey,” I mistakenly thought. 

Instead I picked up another job teaching online, enrolled the girls in lessons and camps, my sister-in-law has a wedding (congrats!) and I am trying to do as much with friends and family around Memphis as I can before I go.  Add this to selling our home and possessions, storing the rest, attempting to build a blog and Internet presence, travel plans, lesson plans for homeschool… And I’m certain I left something out.

The stress is here.  Not overwhelming at this point, but I can feel the tension in my body and I can see how I react quicker than normal.  The exercise, the meditation, they help, but they can only do so much.  With only two or three weeks before our adventure I am hoping life will slow down for a bit.  But whom am I kidding? 

Just a rant to let everyone know it’s not easy giving up one lifestyle for another, especially when the future is completely unknown and the roots at home are deep.  Be sure to do a lot of introspection and planning before making a big life decision life we did.  Not that we are having doubts, but the effort required is not a small one...

My Daughters

Sofiah is 8 and just finished the third grade.  She was with me for two years at Lausanne.  Though she is reserved and not the most outgoing child, she has made some good friends at school.  When we first started to talk about the move she became very upset.  She cried and assured us she would not move. 

“Mrs. Dunmyer said all the students who are moving could live with her.”  We said, “OK”, which surprised her, and she decided that ultimately she wanted to be with mom and dad wherever we go.  We build it up as ‘family time’.  Still, she is hesitant.                                                                                               
Kaia is 6 and just finished first grade.  She’s spunky and a social butterfly.  She seems OK with leaving and often asks a lot of questions about the places we plan to go.  “Will we get a lot of snow?”  What animals will we see?  Will we be able to do our schoolwork by a pool?”

But how will they react when we actually leave our home, the house where they have lived for their entire lives?  The broken routine?  The lack of family and friends within driving distance?  Will they resent my decision when they grow older?  Again, time will tell. 

STUFF

It all began when my wife and I decided to set monthly goals each year, one of which was to get rid of at least one item every day of the month.  The reason? 

I have too much shit.  Don’t we all?  I mean, I’m not a hoarder or anything, and I am organized enough that some people might think I have a slight case of OCD.  I collect comics, coins, books, steins, pint glasses, vinyl records and more.  Besides our own furniture I have four generations of stuff from my family; my grandfather’s WWII medals, my grandmother’s silverware and china, all the family pics; you get my point.  The list goes on and on...

Most of the STUFF sits around to collect dust or is stored away in drawers and boxes.  Very little of it is utilized in any meaningful way.  So when I started to get rid of a lot of things a weight felt lifted. 

Moving sales, Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist, EBay, Goodwill; there is no shortage of places to sell or give away your possessions.  Looking back, I cannot think of one item that I regret giving away or selling.  In fact, I continue to get rid of more and more, especially since we will be traveling with no permanent home. 

Yes, many of my possessions hold sentimental value; a book from my mother, my dad’s old Yankee’s hat, my first report card, a card made by my daughter. But how many of those things do I really need?  The time I have spent throughout my life rummaging through generations of items that were not even mine!  How many minutes or hours, even days have accumulated, time which I could have spent pursuing other interests? 

I dare not do the same to my children.  Sure, I will keep a few things of deep sentimental value and for items that are useful, but I cannot even begin to express how liberating this ‘purge’ has been for the mind and soul. Even deleting the endless emails that I have stored away in folders and subfolders has been cathartic!  My digital footprint may be larger than my actual footprint.  Some of the emails and documents have not been viewed in years!

George Carlin nailed it perfectly:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dn1u6tzwRxA

HOUSING

Probably the scariest part of planning is the uncertainty of where we will live.  Until a few weeks or so before we leave we have no idea where our location will be, much less our residence.  The idea of living in a cramped RV for a year or more just does not sound like my idea of fun.  We all need our space, especially my two daughters who seem to fight more and more each day.  Nor do we want to live in a pay by the week hotel in some crappy part of the city, but we may well be, at least temporarily. 

Travel-nursing companies provide housing stipends but when we spent the summer in Asheville a few years ago, we learned that it’s not so easy to find a home on Airbnb or Craigslist without putting in a lot of time and effort.  Niki and I were stressing big time.  Only two weeks before we left we were lucky and found a kindred teaching soul who let us rent her furnished second home.  Even then, until we arrived, we weren’t sure what we were getting would be habitable for two months.

Luckily, the home was nearly perfect; location, size and all.  All we can do at the present moment is spend time searching and asking questions.  I will let you know how the process goes, but it’s scary not knowing where exactly you will live.